Overdue, water birth, labour and what was the point of that stitch again?!?

It has now been over 6 weeks since the birth of my baby boy! I have been kept busy with gurgling smiles, fascinating nappies, warm and fuzzy cuddles and queues of family and friends who can't get enough of my handsome little man. Bearing in mind that my little nugget tried to make his grand entrance into the world at 20 weeks, he decided to make us wait... that's right he was overdue.


When the stitch came out everyone was on tenterhooks waiting for labour to start. There were weeks of on and off contractions but still no baby. As the big 40 week milestone approached I started to worry that more interventions might be needed. Nuggets little head had engaged weeks before but wasn't quite in the right position to maintain contractions. Once we hit 40 weeks exactly I had a sweep. My cervix could easily be stretched to 3cm, most likely thanks to my Ehlers Danlos Syndrome, still nothing happened. By this point I was trying everything... hours spent bouncing on my exercise ball, dancing, side lunges, looooong walks in the park but I'm pretty sure it was trying to shoot some hoops that finally got this little guy on his way. My contractions started mid-evening on the third day I was overdue but having had weeks of them stopping and starting I didn't think anything of it. It was only about half way through our Saturday night movie, that nights choice of Training Day, that I let Nuggets dad know about the contractions. I'm pretty sure he had guessed as he had started timing every time I was scrunching up my face.

We had gone to bed when the contractions started to get stronger, my neighbours were questioning if someone was giving birth or having sex... considering I was having contractions outside on the way to the car I find this query pretty funny. There were contractions that were 10mins apart and others that were 3mins apart, they never became regular. Nevertheless, nuggets dad knew it was time to take me to the hospital even though I was adamant I wasn't in labour and just wanted to stay in bed. Throughout the 40min car journey my contractions quickly came to a stop. I was quite smug that I was right that it was a false alarm, so we headed to my mums house next to the hospital. As soon as I got out of the car the contractions started up again with vengeance. Cue the TENS machine, I would not have been able to walk without it.

Next stop- the hospital. Throughout my pregnancy I had always been told that I would be on the labour ward and not to really bother in making a birth plan. I hadn't given much thought to any options. When I got to triage they happily told me that I wasn't going to be going home as I was 3cm dilated. I was whisked off to the antenatal ward where I was the only lady who seemed to be in labour even though it seemed to be a particularly busy evening. It was at that point the contractions were making me scream quite loudly and the TENS machine wasn't helping anymore. While being checked to see how dilated I was my waters broke, I was 5cm and sent up to the delivery suite- I'm still pretty sure they moved me because of how much noise I was making which was scaring the other pregnant ladies. Somehow I got talked into giving a water bath a try, after struggling to get in I was told that you couldn't have any pain relief... It would have been impossible for me to try and get out of the water bath so I managed to give birth purely on gas and air.

The water bath was very relaxing and definitely helped with the pain in my back from the contractions. It would have been amazing for him to have been born in the water bath but his steady 150 heart beat had started to dip just with the final pushes. He had remained extremely cool throughout the whole labour up until this point, but now his heart beat wasn't picking up. Hearing this made me panic and my contractions stopped. It was at this point I had to get out of the water bath. The midwives had decided they need to assist in getting my baby out. They had just given me a local anaesthetic, when my partner told me to push and even though I didn't have any contractions out flew my handsome little man.... without getting the episiotomy. I ended up with a second degree tear that needed three stitches.

So my little man came into this world weighing 6lbs 6oz at 11:45am on 6th August 2017. After months of worry and determination he finally made it here.

What happened when they removed my cervical stitch...

So it has now been about 30 hours since the stitch was removed. I had spent yesterday morning reading forums of other ladies experiences of cerclage removal which to be honest did not put me at ease at all. The worst case scenario for me would have been if they couldn't remove the stitch in the labour ward and then having to go into theatre, have an epidural and then spend hours recovering from the effects.

On the day I was asked to arrive at 8am with no food or drink from midnight. Being pregnant has made me even more thirsty than before, so I did question every health professional who came into the room about whether I could drink- it was a unanimous no by the way. My amazing partner brought a huge bag of food which included water, cinnamon swirls (my favourites), cereal bars and juice. Naturally he ate a cinnamon swirl whilst we waited for the doctor to become available and he also had a smoothie whilst my mum sipped her coffee... you could probably imagine my face.

So we were in this gorgeous beach themed room and I was hooked up onto the monitor for over an hour to see how our little nugget was doing. As per usual he kept his heart rate around 150bpm but preferred to relax instead of move around when the midwife was actually watching the readings. The midwife stayed with us for the majority of the time monitoring him and checking everyone was happy which was really nice and kept everyone calm.

When the doctor did come in it was around 11am and the leg stirrups went up! In went the speculum and I heard the dreaded 'I can't see the stitch'... to which I panicked as I really didn't want to go to theatre. Thankfully with a little moving around the doctor found it and it took all of two minutes to cut it out.

Site: Click here

As soon as the stitch was cut I did jump as I felt a thump in my tummy, my partner could visibly see my bump flatten possibly by an inch. The doctor checked again to make sure all parts of the stitch had been removed and saw that I was a little dilated- I'm not sure how much a little is, I'm guessing 1-2cm but my cervix went straight from 1.6ish cm to a little dilated in seconds. See the picture for dramatic effect!

I had cramping pain for possibly 10mins after before I decided to have a nap listening to his heartbeat as they put us back on the monitor and then I got to walk around. I did enjoy my partners face as he was expecting my waters to break as soon as I stood up and for the baby to come pretty quickly afterwards. I have no idea if I have continued to dilate but not much seems to be happening.

The amazing news is that the pain in my cervix has gone and I don't have this tight, painful pinching feeling at the bottom of my abdomen anymore. I am actually able to walk around more through the pain in my hips which is definitely more bearable than the pain I was experiencing in my cervix. That means generally I am a lot happier... but completely mystified by when this little nugget is going to make his grand entrance!

This man continues to make me laugh through everything!

So to sum up...

1. Did it hurt having the cerclage removed?
Yes, it was uncomfortable and the pain was quite cramp-like in the actual cervix. It also hurt close to the cervix having the actual speculum in as well. Considering the stitch had been in for 17 weeks I was expecting it to hurt due to any build up of scar tissue as well.

2. How long did it hurt for?
The initial cramp-like pain lasted for a good 10mins. The doctor and midwife hung around just to check that contractions hadn't actually started as stimulation of the cervix in this way could bring about labour. After those 10mins, a good rest for about 30mins the pain pretty much went straight away as did the other pain I had been experiencing.

3. Did I dilate straight away?
Yes. The doctors were pretty adamant that the cervix could remain closed after the stitch was removed. I was really doubtful of this as I initially only had 0.5cm of cervix there anyway before the stitch brought it to >1.5cm. My cervix pretty much instantly opened but still no sign of baby 30 hours later.

Two more days until the stitch is out!

Surprisingly the past few weeks have gone past so quickly! Tomorrow I have one last scan before they take the stitch out on Thursday. I have to say I am REALLY looking forward to having the stitch out. The first three months (20 to 32 weeks) of bed rest was full of paranoia and OCD on hygiene. Once we were sure that our little nugget was going to be okay and I started to move around more- that was when more frustrating mobility problems started.

So my last post detailed one of our visits to triage and how the doctor believed the baby was pressing on the stitch causing the pain I was experiencing. I was also sent to physio as I was struggling to roll over in bed and my lower back/hips kept frequently clicking. If you're stuck lying down and then not being able to roll over... I'm quite surprised I haven't slowly gone crazy. Turns out my hips aren't aligned possibly due to extensive bed rest and the baby preferring to hang out on one side of my bump. Topped off with my EDS it makes everything that bit more difficult.

Venturing outside I did feel like I had actually turned into a vampire and might combust in the sun. It felt amazing getting out of the house but as I've gotten bigger and my pelvic pain has increased walking is getting to be pretty much a very difficult struggle similar to Frodo climbing Mount Doom. Not that I'm comparing the one ring to rule them all to a cervical stitch haha! I feel more like I may be turning into a very grouchy elephant with the occasional contraction I'm surprised my partner is still being so nice to me. The constant supply of ice cream keeps him in my good books.

So what's it like being 36 weeks pregnant with EDS and a cervical stitch? I pretty much sleep all the time- after eating/ sitting on the sofa/ mid-conversation... moderate to severe pelvic pain which means I may walk as slow as very fat turtle with no land-legs... cervical pain where the doctors are reluctant to let you have anything more than 4 paracetamol- believe me I tried to get something stronger and none of that pregnancy glow malarkey with this face. BUT my little man is a strong little fighter and I have to hold back tears as I watch him move his long legs to his daddy's voice.

There are a number of bets at the moment with how much they think nugget is going to weigh considering my bump has very random growth spurts which keeps me and the doctors on edge. I am also wondering how long after the stitch is out that this little man is going to make his grand appearance! It is always fun asking the doctors what they think, we have estimates from 2 days to possibly going overdue. So you can imagine my face when they say overdue...

Hiccups, stitch and just 3 more weeks to go...

It has been a while since my last post, not much has happened within the last few weeks only within the last week has the little nugget decided to cause more trouble. I have actually managed to start to enjoy being pregnant... until Wednesday last week. Seeing and feeling his kicks, punches and his little re-enactments of Alien has left me laughing and unbelievably proud of how strong and active he is.

So Wednesday!... we ended up in triage. This time I had been experiencing pain in and around my cervix including some sharp shooting pains. They also noticed that my bump hadn't actually grown much within the last two or three weeks, which is unusual for bump considering he has always been a bit ahead of where he is meant to be. My bump is currently measuring 29 weeks when we are about to turn 34 weeks tomorrow. So cue spending the day in hospital with several sessions on a monitor and an emergency scan.

They concluded that I wasn't going into labour, my cervix is still 'nice and long' with the stitch still visible. Bump's growth might have slowed down but the doctors don't seem too worried, they think he might be growing in length and not quite putting on weight just yet. He's still very active so I think he's putting more energy into being cheeky than putting on weight. The video below just shows what he gets up to- already trying to play with the dog. Poor Morgana was left very confused after being kicked by my tummy! You might be able to make out what looks like a build up before he really goes for it!

Still there was the pain, triage were told not to touch the stitch and I would be seen back at the premature clinic the following Monday. The pain actually had gotten so bad on Friday I couldn't walk but I was really reluctant to go in to triage again (even though I was being told off by my partner and friends). All I could think about was my baby and knowing he is still better in than out for the next couple of weeks. Surprisingly my premature appointment showed my stitch is still holding and my cervix length is still looking good!

Top scan from 25 weeks... bottom scan from 33 weeks

But little nuggets head is pressing on my cervix and the stitch. It seems like bump has dropped quite far down and people have been commenting on it! My premature consultant is pretty determined for me to at least get through the next two weeks. Saying that nugget had hiccups for a good 20mins this morning that left me wanting to remove the stitch myself! This pain is completely different to the pain when the stitch was put in. There's a lot of pressure and everything down there feels very sore and bruised, forget trying to roll over or sit/stand without extremely sharp vaginal pains.

So it's 22 days until the stitch is due to be removed... I'll be happy to get through the next 15 days. Seeing how happy my partner and both our families are gives me the strength to try and push through. I think after all of this I definitely should be given free rein on what to name him!

A knock to the bump...

As a mum-to-be I have learnt a lot about pregnancy from asking everyone's trusted friend- Google. The majority of the time I have ended up more anxious than when I started, what I have learnt is that if you are really worried call the midwife or maternity triage. The midwife helpline is only open at certain times during weekdays here in London but triage is open 24/7 and have always been amazing and very fast in their response to the many issues we've had in this pregnancy.

The top line shows foetal heart rate and
the third line that looks like a bar code is nugget kicking.

One such issue was getting a knock to my bump yesterday. It was one of those weird accidents. It was 20 mins later and I still hadn't felt the little nugget move so we called up triage and they asked us to come in. It was pretty much straight into a cubicle and having a monitor put on. They found nuggets heart beat within seconds and also put another monitor on to see how much he moved. As soon as the monitor went on he wasn't having any of it and pretty much spent 30mins trying to kick and punch the monitors off. I sat there wondering if this meant that my son was going to either be really unsociable or could possibly have serious hyperactivity issues... Needless to say we felt very reassured that he was okay and surprised at how much he moved.

Commando dad... training taking place!

Now that we are 29 and a half weeks(!!!) and feeling him moving around so much (when he feels like it) I have been wondering about pregnancy and baby books. I had bought a book for nuggets daddy when I told him we were expecting. I was always in two minds about buying any books because of what happened at our 20 week scan but now it is becoming a reality that he might be with us soon... I'm starting to wonder about breastfeeding, sleeping and what is normal. I do have an amazing sister who got me a really informative book which answered questions I hadn't even thought of yet.

We found the online version:

For pregnancy here- https://www.stgeorges.nhs.uk/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/Pregnancy_Book_comp.pdf

For 0-5 here- http://www.locala.org.uk/fileadmin/Locala/documents/Other/Birth_to_Five.pdf

These NHS books definitely will be keeping us busy whilst slowly trying to get more active from all this bed rest. One thing that I did notice about the books is that neither mentioned anything about cervical incompetence, even in the 'problems during pregnancy' section which includes minor and more serious problems. I was a bit disappointed with this considering how informative I am finding the books but from what I have seen so far I would definitely recommend them.

28 weeks!

The most amazing man I know x

So I didn't think we would get anywhere near 28 weeks just two months ago but we did it! It has actually been pretty smooth sailing after the first couple of weeks... not counting the emotional roller coaster. I have been so lucky to be in this position mainly because my workplace is amazing letting me do some work at home whilst being on bed rest and my amazing family around me.

So on Wednesday I had another antenatal appointment to check on my progress and that everything was okay. The doctor was amazing! I did go in with a list of questions as it had been a few weeks between appointments now and he answered all of them... in detail! It's pretty nice to have a doctor who is so helpful.

One of my main worries was whether I was meant to be having cyclogest twice a day as I have been since my cervical stitch (and where it has been written on all of my prescription boxes) or if I am meant to take it only once a day (which it now said on my latest prescription box and on other online resources!). I am at the point now where the doctor says that there isn't much evidence that it can prevent preterm labour, after the 28 week mark.

Cyclogest... what has been helping keep the nugget in! Bump at 24 weeks.

Progesterone has been shown to prevent uterine contractions and the softening/ shortening of the cervix (Dovepress). I definitely wasn't comfortable dropping down from two tablets to one a day especially as I know a dip in hormones can have a cascading effect. Even with little evidence that it has much effect, I am yet to find an journal with these details, but the doctor is happier with me continuing with two tablets a day.

I have had some new symptoms though which includes Braxton Hicks! At first I had no idea what was going on. I always imagined them more as very clear contractions and not my tummy going rock hard... and I mean rock hard- I feel like I could crush walnuts on my stomach. I seem to be getting them every few days now but the doctor isn't too worried about that as long as I don't have any bleeding, lose of water or find them painful.

We have pretty good chances now, babies born between 28-31 weeks have a 90-95% survival rate (Premature birth statistics). There are still no guarantees but I feel like I can breath a bit more easily now and actually get ready for my little man. He should hopefully weigh over 2.5lbs now, he has his quiet days where I feel like he's putting all of his energy into growing before having a break and a stretch, kick and punch on alternating days.

Weight gained every week in grams

Babies that are born smaller than 3lbs 4oz still have a higher risk of serious medical complications and disabilities (The Baby Centre). So I guess the focus now is to make sure he's growing, I did find a website where I decided to put the information into graph form of how much weight a baby does put on per gestational week. So our next aim is 30 weeks which will hopefully take us over the 3lb mark if everything goes well.

My cervical length will be checked on Monday but I am feeling pretty good in myself. I don't feel like my cervix has shortened, it's almost like little nugget is moving up my tummy and not down. He has the odd day where he likes punching my cervix but I am feeling pretty good at the moment! So good my partner has persuaded me to go see the new Alien today!

4D Growth Scan

Yesterday we decided to do something particularly special and we had a 4D scan at This Is My London Screening Centre in Harley Street. We were a bit sceptical regarding whether to have one done as some clinics don't have trained professionals but my other half being a radiographer, his protective daddy instincts and his connections- we knew they were experts here and we were in good hands. The past six weeks have been pretty up and down so yesterday was, for lack of a better word, AMAZING! Seeing the little nugget did make me feel like the crazy hormonal pregnant lady who will cry at anything but I can honestly say nothing really compares to seeing him and having these videos and pictures. It was also very reassuring that they estimate he now weighs approximately 2lbs (916g) with super long legs (which he definitely didn't get from his daddy).

Looking at his little face, all I can see is a mini version of my other half. I am completely in love. The little nugget was in quite a mood and kept refusing to move his hands away from his face. It was almost like he knew that everyone was watching him. We did manage to get some really adorable pictures though. He had decided to bury his head in the most awkward position but we had the most lovely lady scanning us who was really determined to get us some pictures of his face.

The scan didn't just include getting to see the little nugget being grumpy just like his daddy when he gets woken up. They did a little MOT, checked his growth and the blood supply within the placenta and his estimated weight. They really put us at ease and it has lifted my mood immensely knowing he's okay and getting to see him. Seems like his head circumference and long legs are coming from my side of the family. His abdominal circumference was the only measurement that was below average, which is surprising considering how much I eat and how little fat I've actually put on, saying that I can't really turn to see if my bottom has gotten much bigger in the mirror. So I am sure it is all going to nugget and I just finished a slice of toast with nuttella after having granola for breakfast.

The one thing that did concern me a little was the umbilical artery pulsatility index reading was a little on the low side showing 0.94 where the average is 1.08 (Radiology Key). I think Radiology Key explains it in the best way I have seen so far online. As far as my research has taken me, it is only when reading is above average that this is a sign of possible pre-eclampsia and other possible problems regarding the placenta. 'A low pulsatility waveform is indicative of low distal resistance and high pulsatility waveforms occur in high resistance vascular beds' - Fetal Medicine. So this doesn't seem to be a problem with nugget but I might be picking my consultants brain at the next antenatal appointment!

In the mean time I just can't stop looking at him...

26 weeks today!!!

We have made it to the 26 week mark! That means it's time to reset the countdown and aim for 28 weeks. I was pretty happy today that I also managed to get a sneaky peak at our little nugget again as I had to have a kidney scan following another UTI. He's looking pretty squished in there, he's definitely getting bigger. I did pop into the hospital gift shop, they have really sweet knitted cardigans and jumpers in there. So nugget did get another present today... a little cardigan so he can look stylish next to his daddy.

Nugget did have me a little worried yesterday as he was pretty quiet but it turns out that feeling a bit plugged up, thanks to all the progesterone, didn't make him particularly happy. He was back to his cheeky self today trying to punch through my cervix on numerous occasions after I had several trips to the ladies. I am on the verge of buying a doppler so I can keep track of him. He has been a little jumping bean today though.

To celebrate reaching this far I have decided to treat myself to a little outing with the two special men in my life. I'll be taking nugget and his daddy to the Real Greek this weekend to get some seriously yummy food! The Real Greek is one of my favourite restaurants and just happens to have the most comfortable chairs. It is going to be the first time I'll be going out that isn't a trip to the hospital or twice weekly short walk to the end of the road, so I am pretty excited to be spending some quality time with my boys!

Third Premature Clinic Appointment & Glucose Tolerance Test

Usually I get pretty excited about knowing I'll be seeing the little nugget but today I had the dreaded glucose tolerance test too. Thinking about it, you wouldn't find it too difficult; have a fasting blood test, drink a glucose drink and have another blood test two hours later. Unfortunately for me that involves two things I severely dislike- being hungry and needles. So that meant my 3am snacks were a big no-no, but a good thing for the rest of my household who apparently can hear a cookie packet opening a mile away.

Plitvice Lakes National Park, Croatia with my other half

I did spend most of yesterday wondering how I could get out of the blood test and if it was really necessary. My mum constantly reminds me that all four of her children (including myself) were 10lbs or bigger, considering I'm 5'6 and my siblings are all 6ft and over, I still find it hard to believe I was that big. So the midwife was pretty insistent on me having the test even though my other half is a questionable height which apparently is the optimum; gestational diabetes can result in big babies making for difficult births, heart/lung problems and premature birth (Made For Mums).

I have to say that the blood test wasn't anywhere near as bad as I thought it was going to be considering I was on the verge of a panic attack about it yesterday. They managed to find a vein a few minutes after looking and the needle was in and out before I knew what was happening. I'm so used to them struggling to find a vein and having two or three attempts, I really can't praise the nurses today enough. They did give me lucozade afterwards as the glucose drink, I was pretty happy with myself. I'm a big fan of lucozade and I haven't had a fizzy drink in months. My other half constantly tells me off about my small addiction to fizzy drinks so I was very chuffed when I was given one by a medical professional.

Nuggets presents today

I had my premature clinic appointment in between the two blood tests. The clinic was very busy today because of the bank holidays (the clinic only runs on a Monday). There was good news today, there's been no change in the length of my cervix so we're all quite happy so my next appointment will be in three weeks. I got to see a quick peak at nugget, considering I felt like I was getting punched and kicked all over I was quiet curious to see what position he was in. The little trouble maker has his head down, hands above his head punching my cervix whilst trying to kick my stomach. As the doctor put it the 'superman' position, the doctor could even see his little hand when he was trying to measure my cervix which seems to be staying at about 1.7-1.9cm. So to celebrate a good result we bought nugget a little Elmer teddy and bear hat.

So being 25 and a half weeks today, my best friend has broached the topic of the baby shower! I have to say I'm pretty excited and I have a feeling she has secretly been plotting what she wants to do for a while now. So we're aiming to do it at the end of next month, I'm feeling pretty confident that the little one will hopefully stay in until after then. I should be about 30 weeks by that point. I did find an interesting website about premature births and cervical length. During my 20 week scan I had a cervix of 0.4cm so according to the chart below it would estimate giving birth at less than 32 weeks. The doctors did believe I was about to give birth at any moment at that stage but it's more reassuring to see higher gestational ages. Now that my cervix is about 1.7-1.9 I would be very happy with a gestational birth age of 34 weeks! Only a few more days until we are 26 weeks!

25 weeks + 4 days transvaginal scan of cervix length

Cervical length at 20-24wks (cm)	Mean birth gestational age
1.0	32
1.5	33
2.0	34
2.5	36.5
Source: American Journal of Obstetrics & Gynaecology, June 2000 cited in: http://www.keepemcookin.com

Obstetrics Appointment

As I write this my little nugget is kicking and punching away. Today would have been the day I would be going back to work at college after Spring Break but instead I'm on bed rest and having my first Obstetrics appointment. I did manage a walk around my block yesterday, I was pretty proud of myself and it did feel amazing to get some Sun. The other half practised his photography skills whilst I waddled down the road.




We also watched the episode of Friends where Rachel gives birth. Even though my partner is a Radiographer and can handle all sorts of blood and guts... childbirth is his kryptonite which he's told me repeatedly even before we found out about this little one. I think he might be slowly trying to desensitise himself to the whole process, I'm sure his addiction to youtube documentaries is also helping and he's not just relying on episodes of friends.

It wasn't particularly all fun though, having visited the ladies (maybe for the 12th time?!?) I noticed blood in my urine... having a cervical stitch you know any kind of infection within that area just turns on your panic button. Thankfully my partner is amazing at calming me down. At the obstetrics appointment today there was only +1 leukocytes which is normal in pregnancy. But due to me having some pain around my bladder, some blood and having just recovered from another UTI a couple of weeks ago, they'll be sending a sample to be cultured anyway.

Besides what could possibly be a UTI I have been discharged from Obstetrics! Having a family history of heart problems they wanted to keep an eye on me but my echo and everything came back normal. Even my blood pressure is down, typically I would see 140/90 whereas today I had a reading of 101/61. Apparently, progesterone can assist with vasodilation and it makes sense that could bring down blood pressure. So everything is looking good at the moment, 24 weeks and 5 days, which means it's only a few more days until we're 25 weeks!

I have brought myself to look at the 20 week scan, with everything that surrounded that day I've found it pretty difficult. I am less emotional now but even looking at babies of instagram can set me off. Seeing him just makes me want a video of what he gets up to in there. I know my hospital does DVD's and 4D imaging but I think just having a video that I can see is quite priceless.

Nugget at his 20 week scan

24 weeks today!

I woke up this morning to see this!
Along with quite a few messages of support
and love

So we have made it to 24 weeks today! The past four weeks have been full of lots of fears, tears and hospital appointments. I'm really proud of my little family for what we're managed to get through together and how amazing my other half has been driving me to and from the hospital at all times of the day and putting up with these crazy hormonal mood swings. So it's time to reset the countdown and see if this little nugget will be patient enough to reach the 26 week mark.

In babies born preterm, the chance of survival at less than 23 weeks is close to zero, while at 23 weeks it is 15%, at 24 weeks 55% and at 25 weeks about 80% (Tommy's Organisation). For every week that he decides to stay in there cooking his chances look better and better. So I am quite happy to just try and plump him up as much as possible until then, however much his also impatient daddy wants to meet him (I say this whilst eating a Viennese swirl after finishing a bowl of grapes). I am starting to wonder if I am just producing a new improved version of my other half.

One of the things that has bothered me since having my cervical stitch placed was the fact that they kept referring to a 'miscarriage' if anything were to happen. That means that no birth certificate would be given. Now that we have reached 24 weeks my little one is now considered 'viable'. I know these are technical terms and the reasoning behind them but it is comforting to know that his birth will now be recognised. Not all ladies are this lucky. Scrolling through the internet this morning I did find this petition-

https://www.change.org/p/department-of-health-uk-allow-registered-birth-certificates-for-children-born-from-20-weeks

Even though the likelihood of a baby born before 23 weeks surviving is greatly reduced, I think it is important that these births from 20 weeks are acknowledged. Especially with babies born much earlier than 24 weeks surviving. During week 24, according to the baby center, the little ones taste buds are forming and the brain is growing quickly. So that means whatever I'm eating, those chemicals and theoretically tastes are being passed to the amniotic fluid for the little nugget to take in. Now if my other half figures this out I feel he'll be force feeding me chicken so he can have a food buddy and also an excuse to bring home buckets of chicken wings.

Last night I visited the ladies two or three times... I believe my bladder is now the size of a walnut!

Second Premature Clinic Appointment

Yesterday was my second appointment at the Premature Clinic. The clinic is only run on Mondays so it is pretty busy but it's reassuring seeing other woman who have had a stitch placed and have had similar problems. The clinic also has a board of photos and thank you cards, it's really nice to see how many ladies have kept in contact years later and how many babies have made it through.

I am lucky enough to have my mum who came to the appointment with me, my partner was literally messaging every few minutes from work to check on his little boy. Thankfully my mum is a lady who tries to lift the mood in all circumstances. The atmosphere isn't great in the department however much effort the staff put in to make it welcoming and calm, a bunch of pregnant ladies worrying about their babies doesn't really do much for morale. Especially when not many of us can sit down comfortably for more than 10mins due to the stitch.

I did find myself comparing bump sizes with every lady that walked in. You do find yourself empathising with bumps that don't look much over 20 weeks. Thinking about how I felt 4 weeks ago, this is definitely the hardest and most emotional thing I have ever done. One of the consultants had also put out a new little booklet about success stories of babies born at 24 to 26 weeks. It did make me feel more confident especially as I'm 23 weeks + 5 days today! I'm pretty sure I need to buy a big present once I reach 24 weeks.

So the news... Previously I had 15mm of cervix below the stitch and 21mm above the stitch. I now have 17mm of cervix below the stitch and above the stitch has opened with funnelling. Now the doctor wasn't concerned about this as the stitch was holding and I still had length below it. I felt like it was a step backwards especially when I heard the dreaded term- funnelling.

Little nugget is happy though, kicking away as usual, completely oblivious to how stressed he makes his mummy. He decided to move head down for the scan which is unusual for him as he really takes great enjoyment in kicking my cervix as hard as possible. I am actually starting to think he uses it as target practice, the similarity between him and his father is funny.

Even though I wasn't particularly happy with the length of my cervix, the doctor did an estimate of how big our little nugget is. Considering all my family were big babies- my mum is constantly reminding us of how we were all over 10lbs. I was quite curious to know how nugget was doing knowing how the bigger he is the better his chances are. His measurements gave an accurate 23-24 week gestational age but he weighs approximately 1.5lbs (660g) which puts him at the weight of a baby at 24-25 week gestation.

So the little one still has some way to go. I'll be back in the Premature Clinic in a fortnight again to check if there's any difference. If things get worse there is talk of starting to get ready for baby making an early appearance, in that case we'll be admitted into hospital and will start on the steroids to get his lungs ready. Until then the focus is going to be on what to name the little trouble maker.

My Incompetent Cervix Symptoms

Considering this is my first pregnancy I didn't really know what to expect in terms of all the changes that were happening. As the Bump website states there aren't many symptoms with an incompetent cervix. I did however question some of these changes- mainly that I did feel a lot of pressure pushing down on my cervix and I did have a lot of very sticky clear discharge which I felt was quite unusual. I had read lots of websites that this type of discharge was completely normal and that you would expect to have an increase in the amount of discharge over the course of pregnancy. Since having the cervical stitch there has been very little of this clear sticky mucous compared to before when it was very noticeable. I didn't experience any bleeding, cramping or back pain.

Date nights have been replaced by giving my pregnancy pillow some serious TLC

The causes of cervical weakness can be put down to having an abnormal smear, cervical trauma with a previous pregnancy, previous operations that require a D&C or congenital conditions. Thankfully none of these apply to me besides the last category. The Mayo Clinic includes a really good connection between genetic conditions and cervical incompetence 'genetic disorders affecting a fibrous type of protein that makes up your body's connective tissues (collagen) might cause an incompetent cervix' which I feel having read a number of websites none really address. Ehlers Danlos Syndrome (EDS) is a condition that affects the production of collagen. It is also the condition my family suffers from.

Some facts about EDS...

I do alternate between feeling quite confident in the stitch to quite angry that my cervical length wasn't monitored as soon as I mentioned my EDS. During my first midwife's appointment it didn't take long before it was decided I needed to see a consultant. To be fair when seeing the consultant they were too preoccupied worrying about a heart condition developing, issues with my kidneys and a history of gestational diabetes in my family. I did raise my concerns of my cervix due to my EDS with the consultant, she said she would liaise with the premature clinic and it wasn't something to worry about until after 6 months. It has now been 17 days since my cervical stitch and I am 22 weeks + 4 days today.

22 weeks + 4 days today!

Feeling very loved!

I'm 22 weeks + 1 day! It is now two weeks since the emergency cervical stitch and another two weeks until we reach our 24 weeks aim. With my colleagues insisting on me resting and not even being allowed to ask about work (one of my colleagues already has given me my first strike for too many work related questions) and with the Easter holidays starting today there's not much to really do. I may be a slight workaholic so not doing anything related to lesson planning or college in general is a strange concept.

So far my days have included watching lots of netflix and Supernatural. There is only so much sitting around not really doing anything that you can take especially if you used to be enjoy being outside of the house so much before. It doesn't help that the sun keeps coming out and shining through the window- I can just about manage a 10/15min walk before it starts to hurt and I start getting really tired.

When the doorbell rang today and I had a pile of Amazon packages waiting for me I was really surprised. My friends and amazing work colleague sent me lots of presents to help me pass the time. Very much feeling loved and so unbelievably grateful for their thoughts and presents to help keep me busy. Now I just need to decide what to start on first...

So grateful for such lovely people in my life

Baby Kicks

So last night was a bad night, dreams that made me wake up in a sweat at midnight and pretty much stopped me from getting any rest until the morning where I probably only got an hour or so. I was really comforted by my little one having a kicking frenzy from 3am until 6am. Typically he'll kick to let me know he doesn't like the position I'm lying in, when he hears his daddy's voice, if there's any pressure being put on him (ultrasound or doppler) and also kicks when I'm hungry.

Little legs at the 3 month scan

He definitely has his daddy's gazelle-like ankles. Back when he was little I could feel his stretches and some of his movements around week 16. To start with they literally felt like a tickle, I described it to my SO (significant other) as running your tongue or finger down the inside of your cheek. Now that the baby is a lot bigger and stronger he feels a lot bigger and stronger. It's more comparable to when you have a lot of gas suddenly move! You are very aware that your intestines are a lot higher now though. It's almost like someone just knocked very loudly on the inside of your tummy.

Wondering if this belly button is going to pop! 

One of my favourite moments is seeing my SO's face when he felt him kick. The excitement and how proud he looked was just a moment that I'll be keeping with me. He ended up getting about four kicks before the baby decided his daddy wasn't getting the message to stop trying to wake him up. With an anterior placenta it's quite hard for other people to feel his kicks. Usually we have to wait until his legs are in my left or right side for anyone to be able to feel anything. That doesn't mean I can't feel the kicks. They are an amazing reminder that he's growing in there and seems to have a crazy little personality already.

Get Well Card

One of the best things about being a teacher is how sweet my students can be- look at my 'Get Well' card! I haven't quite built up my muscles or confidence yet to really start venturing outside. Compared to the daily excitement that my students used to provide, the lack of fresh air and mental stimulation is really affecting my morale and gives me a lot of time for my mind to wonder. It is all quite challenging. At the moment it seems to be visits to the hospital that really get me out of the house. Alongside the progesterone tablets and typical pregnancy hormones my moods are on a roller coaster so when I got a card from one of my classes today I was very emotional.

The doctors and my SO (significant other) have been stressing the importance of moving around. Pulmonary embolisms are more common in pregnant woman which my SO keeps reminding me. He used to do scans on pregnant ladies as he is a radiographer and has no problems giving me a mini-lecture to make sure I'm at least making an effort to be more active. I do worry that there's only a little piece of nylon string helping to keep the baby inside for hopefully more than 2 weeks.

I think I was a lot more positive yesterday, today I made the mistake of doing another internet search. My attempt this time to see how long a typical cervical stitch lasts... I ended up reading a lot of experiences on forums about ladies whose stitches/cervix's didn't last past the 22-24th week. My heart really goes out to these ladies, considering I never thought I could have a family it feels so close, it is literally days that seem to make a difference.

Different doctors have said a range of different expectations of my cervical stitch. Whilst in hospital one doctor (who placed the stitch) said the stitch typically can last about 5 weeks, whereas during my premature clinic appointment there were talks about having the stitch removed at 36 weeks and quite a lot of optimism. Whilst the doctor actually saw my cervix and placed the stitch, the premature clinic are the ones who usually monitor the stitches. Then again this is all trying to predict the unpredictable using the worried mind of a stressed pregnant lady.

First Premature Clinic Appointment

Today I am 21 weeks and 4 days! It has been 9 days since the emergency cervical stitch was placed and I just had my first appointment with the premature clinic. I am really happy to say that the funnelling has decreased and the stitch placement is looking good! It has definitely started the week off on a high.

I was extremely lucky to have my sister, mum and partner all there for support this morning. It is really amazing how reassuring and comforting it is to have family around at these worrying times. I didn't quite know what to expect today but everything does feel a lot tighter and plugged up down there since the stitch and the progesterone (cyclogest) tablets. They really have worked wonders and I now have 15mm of cervix below the stitch and 21mm above the stitch.

Trans-vaginal scan 21 weeks + 4 days

I was quite confused though as the doctor had previously told me when scanning the morning after the operation that there was 24mm below the stitch. This had been done with an abdominal scan, which I know aren't as accurate, and it could have been the whole length of the cervix. I was still quite shell shocked by everything at that point and I can't find his measurements within my notes.

Nevertheless, I am now very proud to say I have a cervix of 36mm overall, which is the ideal length! I just hope it now stays that way. There were lots of thoughts that had gone through my mind with having the stitch and short cervix- the main being infection. Infection can cause premature labour but with a longer cervix it should be more difficult for bacteria to enter.

During the appointment the doctor did the usual check and update on how I have been doing. It was quite crowded with the doctor, midwife, student and my entourage in the room! They also didn't have curtains for you to get changed behind, considering the past couple of weeks I feel there's not much left to hide. My lovely partner kindly came to the rescue and helped cover me with a towel before the trans-vaginal scan began.

Now baby has been doing cartwheels in there since yesterday and he also decided to move feet first. He often takes joy trying to kick his way out through my cervix. So his placement did make it harder to see the degree of funnelling but I felt better that his head wasn't getting ready to pop out. He also thought it would be fun to kick as they tried to do the measurements which did make me laugh. Every sonographer has always remarked on how active he is... hyperactive just like his daddy.

What made me laugh even harder was the doctor broaching the topic of no sex when there's a stitch in there. We had discussed how to prevent infection; don't use soap when cleaning down there, don't try to clean within the vagina and only have showers. When the doctor looked at my caring partner who was just helping me put my shoes back on and muttered the 'no sex' statement. I did have to bite my lip to stop myself from laughing. My partner seems convinced my mum has trained my chihuahua to go for his man area so I don't think that will be an issue.

Face of a little angel!

I still don't think I will be completely content until we do get to the 24 week mark and I have my next premature clinic appointment in two weeks time. I know that my EDS (Ehlers Danlos Syndrome) plays a factor which is often not really considered by doctors but I am feeling a lot more confident in my little nugget.

Ovarian cysts and me

Considering all of the lady problems that my nan and mum had it was surprising that it was only when I was about 15 years old when I rushed into a&e with a large ovarian cyst that had ruptured. Now cysts are really common which I had to keep reminding myself. Unfortunately that wasn't the last of the cysts and sometimes they came in twos and would cause sharp pains from my side all the way down my leg.

Thankfully the cysts would often resolve themselves so when offered an operation I would refuse. The scar tissue from an operation, in my opinion, would have been worse than the damage caused by the cysts and the cysts always came back so I didn't see the point. Ultimately the cysts meant I missed about two years of P.E. at secondary school. Now the first couple of years of school I loathed doing anything athletic but having finally found the sport for me- hockey, I really felt left out. Being a teenager that was the main thing on my mind.

Going from doctor to doctor I was put on the mini-pill to try and control bleeding and prevent the cysts. Unfortunately due to migraines you can't go on the combined pill. Also it turns out it's not normal to change your sanitary towel every 20/30mins for 9 days straight! Due to the sheer volume of blood trying to get out through that tiny little cervix, not all of it can so some of the blood can leave through the only other exit- the fallopian tubes. One doctor described it in a really interesting way... imagine the uterus as a sink and the drain a cervix, if the water comes out too fast it's going to overflow. This happening repeatedly leaves you with endometriosis. Unfortunately my mum has this and it is really a nasty disorder. When I was discharged from the gynae/endometriosis clinic the last thing they said did stick with me- 'come back when you're trying for a baby then we can discuss it'. I hadn't considered it but all of that damage would have built up.

Now not all mini-pills are the same, I had serious issues with micronor and feanolla, the only mini-pill that hasn't caused the cysts to return, even heavier bleeding or extreme mood swings was cerazette. Which the doctors continuously tried to change due to the fact it costs a lot more in terms of production. I used to go to the family planning clinic to get the mini-pill as it meant it was free and a lot faster to get. Saying that I did feel a lot of judgement going to the clinic by the receptionists. Thats not saying all but considering they are a family planning clinic if a young girl goes in there for whatever reason she should be made to feel as comfortable as possible. This was over 10 years ago and it has still stuck with me. Things have improved but now you need a prescription to get cerazette because they no longer give it out in the clinics!

Thanks to cerazette I had been cyst free for over 10 years, with the odd check up scan it seemed my left tube was twisted (a sign of endometriosis). They couldn't really check anything else without an investigative procedure. So I had 10 years of the possibility of not having children in the back of my mind. I am always quite open about my medical issues and I've had ex-boyfriends ask how I could do that to him because they wanted kids. Charming right? I did consider whether to bother with relationships. It was a huge surprise when I decided to go on a break from cerazette (10 years on a mini-pill is a long time), that after 6 months I then saw a positive pregnancy test. The love of my life knew there was a chance we wouldn't have our own family as long as we had each other it was okay. So his face lit up when I told him that he was going to be a daddy.

What is it like to have a cervical stitch?

I still feel I am very much coming to terms with having a cervical stitch. Having it for just over a week, it has still been a rollercoaster and something that is constantly on my mind. The doctors managed to extend my cervix from 4mm to 24mm (with the typical cervix during mid-pregnancy being 35mm). I never thought I would be jealous of another womans cervical length! Scouring forums often leaves me thinking the worst and regularly leaves me in tears, reading about ladies with lengths of 15mm pre-stitch we just have to remember we have all been in this terrifying position.

20 weeks + 1 day cervical scan

So I thought I would put together a list of questions I would have liked to have known the answers to...

1. What was the epidural like?

Talking to my mum about it afterwards we both had completely different experiences with the epidural. It felt like someone had dribbled some warm fluid down one side of my back whereas my mum found it very painful. The epidural was more effective on my left compared to right which was a very interesting experience because when it eventually wore off my left side took much longer to regain sensation. The doctors test to see if it's working by putting a cold spray on you to see where you can feel it, I think I lost all sensation below my belly button. The doctors then cover you up so you can't see whats happening.

2. Is the stitch painful?

I didn't feel the doctors put in the stitch but I could feel it afterwards. I had very sharp pains on my left and right side near my cervix following the operation. This could have been due to the little one lying on my cervix (just for fun!). The pain is quite dull, bearing in mind it is an operation I wouldn't be surprised if there was quite a bit of swelling. The more I move around the more painful it gets, but sometimes the pain only subsides if i get up! It also hurts if I need to visit the toilet for a more lengthy visit.

3. Can you feel the stitch?

I can feel the stitch, at first I really did panic as to whether this was normal. It feels a lot tighter in my lower pelvis compared to before. It almost feels like there is a tampon left in there, so very different to when there wasn't much left of my cervix.

4. What do you need to be careful of?

Keep everything clean! The risk of infection is big in terms of stitches, making sure everything remains clean is all I think about for hours on end. Bacteria from the vagina can enter the cervix and cause the membranes to rupture and just can't be prevented sometimes. I feel better knowing I am doing everything I can... disinfecting the toilet before every use, only having showers, using alcohol hand sanitiser and not using scented shower gels.

5. How often should you have checkups?

This was the first question on my mind. The doctor scanned me the next morning to check on the baby and stitch but after that it is up to the premature clinic to see you. Do not leave the hospital without that appointment! They don't like repetitive scanning so we'll only find out what is happening on monday during our first premature clinic appointment where I am hoping they will scan.

Cervical Stitch - 21 weeks and 2 days pregnant

It has now been a week since my emergency cerclage, also known as a cervical stitch, and I am still resting in bed. With another 19 days to go until our viability aim it looks like bedrest is the main thing on my agenda. I currently have three different countdown timers on my mobile including tickers, days until due date and the 24 week mark, it is quite reassuring seeing each day pass but I do feel incredibly lucky just to have these days with my little one.

The little one at 3 months

Like most of the ladies I have read about on countless forums I had gone in for my routine 20 week anomaly scan. Thinking that everything would be quite straight forward I brought my younger sister as well as my partner. Even though the sonographer seemed to be muttering the measurements of the baby to herself, everything was perfect with our little one kicking away. That was until something didn't look quite right on the screen.

My cervix was measuring 4mm with funneling, at the time we thought she had said 4cm and didn't quite see what the fuss was about. Now for those who do their research you'll find-

At 24 weeks gestation, the average cervical length is 3.5 cm. When cervical length is less than 2.2 cm, women face a 20 percent probability of preterm delivery. (Source: The Length of the Cervix and the Risk of Spontaneous Premature Delivery. New England Journal of Medicine; February 29, 1996; Vol. 334, Number 9: 567-572.)

So we were rushed up to the labour ward where my mum soon joined us. I did not expect to see the inside of those rooms for a good few months yet. By the constant rush of doctors and midwives coming in and out of the room it started to dawn on me how serious the situation was. It was then that they gave us three options: 

1. Leave everything as it is. I could have been walking around with a short cervix for a while without noticing- I had been feeling increasing pressure on my cervix the past few weeks.
2. Progesterone. This was offered to help reduce the funneling and encourage the cervix to close.
3. Cervical cerclage. This involved putting a stitch in the cervix to regain as much of the cervix as possible. The issue here was that there was a 30% chance of miscarriage due to the membranes rupturing or manipulation of the cervix causing contractions.

So naturally we wanted to go for the safer low risk option, the progesterone. It was only when we saw the doctors face that we realised we didn't really have an option. When my partner heard the words 'hormones would be too little too late', our decision was made. Before I knew it I had signed some forms and was in a hospital gown.

In all honesty the worst part was actually having the cannula put in. Anyone who knows me well can explain my severe aversion to needles. Now this is with good reason, it was only on the third attempt that they managed to find a vein. I just wanted to get into the theatre at this point. There were so many people in the theatre I could not remember all of their names, I can hardly remember what I spoke about in there- I think I was talking about my college and students.

One week later and still feeling very bruised

The whole procedure lasted about 50mins, that included putting in the epidural and waiting for it to start to work. I think I should mention at this point my partner had ordered pizza (someone has been comfort eating and it's not the pregnant lady) so my entourage was missing when I came out of surgery. On the plus side when they were found I had a whole tuna pizza and found out my partner had somehow managed to eat 14 chicken wings.

I stayed in hospital overnight with my partner watching over me, no one tells you how hard it is to actually urinate after an epidural and stitch by the way. The amazing news was that the doctor managed to regain another 2cm of cervix so it now measures 2.4cm but still with funneling. After another night of monitoring I was discharged.

I was probably only home for two hours before I was back in maternity triage with active bleeding from my cervix. Did you know that emptying your bowels could irritate your cervix? Another night of observation with the love of my life sleeping in a very uncomfortable chair next to me I was then ready to go home.

... and here I am now. I have heard a number of different doctors state a number of different weeks the stitch could make it to but it seems 24/25 weeks seems most realistic due to my ehlers danlos syndrome (collagen deficiency so everything is more stretchy). Every day really is a gift and I'm hoping to see him on monday during our premature clinic appointment. Each hour my little baby keeps getting stronger and I feel so lucky to even get this far.

Mummy, daddy and bump at the Baby Show 4th March 2017